Keep Your Head Up

Today I have been battling some negative thoughts, most of them stemming from my past. At times we battle these thoughts and they can be very difficult to handle. Spending a few days with my kids always helps me to heal and focus on my tremendous blessings. But at times, especially when they leave, thoughts of despair and sadness come over me. They are a reminder to me of a past life and "how things used to be". Although I am grateful for the tremendous trial of the past year and how it has changed me, I still suffer from the aftermath of consequences.

Today during a talk in church, the speaker shared his feelings about how devastating it would be if we were to drive and only look through the rear view mirror. Hopping on the freeway going 65 mph and only watching the rear view mirror would not last long. He related it to life and how Satan wants us to focus on our pasts. He wants us to limit ourselves to who we used to be and not who we have become or who we can be. I realized that I have a problem with this. By nature, I am very hard on myself. I tend to beat myself up and I have to work extra hard to be positive towards myself. Thankfully, through my trial, I have gained more confidence and I am getting better at overcoming this. It is very important for us to keep our heads up and focus on looking forward with faith. Life trials will always be present. They are an important part of God's plan. How we learn and grow from these trials is what counts. Life can be hard, ruthless, and overwhelming. But if we keep our heads up and rely on God, we can be happier because of our trials. That is a hard concept to grasp.

Right now, at this very moment, I am hurting. Sometimes it is unavoidable. I miss my kids, I have regrets, I wish for things that will never be again. I have hope for my future and I know that it is bright. I recognize God's blessings in my life and I am grateful for them. But today is a day where I need to tell myself to keep my head up. I cannot look back or look down. I need to look forward. "In your life their have to be challenges. They will either bring you closer to God and make you stronger, or they can destroy you. But you make the decision of which road you take"- Elder Busche

I am grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who is constantly allowing us to learn to rely on him. He wants us to keep our heads up and look to Him for comfort. He wants us to choose Him.