Don't Look Back

Once again it has been way too long since I have posted on my blog. I made a resolution to do better and I have failed for the past 2 months. So it is time rededicate myself! Thankfully, life has been very good to me while I have been away and I continue to be grateful for what I learn everyday through my trials.

I have written before about the importance of staying focused on the present. Although it is important that we learn from the past it is also important that we don't stay focused on the past. In my current situation, it would be very detrimental to my progression if I kept looking back. My life has changed dramatically over the past 18 months and yes, some very poor decisions in my past have left me with consequences. But, just because I made a mistake doesn't mean I'M a mistake. I cannot allow my mind to linger on thoughts from my past mistakes. I am a new person with new opportunities. As we go through trials and face them head on, we will begin to change. If we allow ourselves to change we will no longer need to focus on the past. Our futures are bright and filled with hope. Our Heavenly Father has provided a way for us to return to him and it is through repentance. Repentance helps to heal pain, but most of all it helps us to rid ourselves of our past mistakes.

God has too much in store for us to be lingering in the past and focusing on our mistakes. He wants us to come to him and be clean. We don't need to dwell on our past to find this. Just don't look back and look to the Savior instead.

Prove It To Yourself

As you struggle through trials and hardships you may have the tendency to worry too much about what other people think. I have wanted so badly for people to accept me for who I am now and not the man that I was. This struggle can be very draining. I believe it is a noble desire to show others that you are a different person, especially those you have hurt. But when it comes down to it, the one you need to prove it to the most is YOU. True happiness and peace comes when you can view yourself as a new person, loved by God, who has forgiven himself. I struggle with this still as the challenges of life and my situation are still affecting my life. I still have days where I beat myself up over my past. My future is bright yes, but my past can still come back and haunt me. This is why my acceptance of myself for who I am is so important.

No one besides yourself and God know your true desires and where you heart is. Other people cannot control or decide for you how you should feel or who you are as a person. Yes, there are things I need to prove to people in my life. I accept the challenge. But I cannot let that overwhelm me. I have learned through this experience that EVERYONE is struggling with something. Big or small, heavy or light. We ALL have struggles, addictions, trials, etc. It is important for us to not pass judgement, lend a helping hand, and try and lift others. But in order to do that as effectively as possible, we need to be comfortable in our skin and know that we are good people.

Prove it to yourself first. Be the best YOU that you can be and your outlook on life will be brighter and more hopeful. As you do that, you will better be able to serve others. Block out the negativity. Do not let others tear you down. Some people won't believe you or trust you. Some people may feel the need to try and make things harder for you. Keep your head up and press forward with confidence in YOURSELF. God believes in you and will assist you.

Courage

I have been slower with my blog posts lately and I have made a new commitment to post every week again! A quick thought for today is to be courageous. If we want to make major changes in our lives we need to have courage. Courage comes from a deep desire to change. Courage will help us withstand the trials and difficulties that the process of change will bring to us. As we begin changing we will soon see how strong we really are and our courage will grow.

We need to face life's battles with courage. Be brave in the face of adversity. Stand strong when it is so easy to fall down. Keep your head held high and your feet firmly planted. Courage to follow the Savior will lead to NEW you.

Choose To Be Grateful

Has it really been this long! I have been a slacker. I will blame it on the busy holidays :)

I have been thinking about a new post for a couple weeks now and what keeps coming into my mind is the need to be grateful. This Christmas season has allowed me to reflect on the many things in my life that I NEED to be grateful for. I have had some rough days lately. A lot of up and down. I have been searching for peace. I have found that when I ponder on all of the things I am grateful for I feel the most peace. I sometimes forget that God wants me to feel peace and happiness and most of the stress and sorrow I feel is because of my lack of gratitude. I allow negative and sad thoughts to control my mind and neglect the positive and grateful thoughts. I believe that this is key to our peace and happiness.

A lot of my struggles come from my own mind. The battle against ourselves always seems to be the most exhausting and stressful. My struggle with myself comes from my past. I have made some bad decisions and from time to time I still beat myself up. I read a quote from Elder Faust that has really helped: "All of us have made wrong turns along the way. I believe the kind and merciful God, whose children we are, will judge us lightly as He can for the wrongs we have done and give us the maximum blessing for the good we do. Alma's sublime utterance in Alma 9:26 seems to be an affirmation of this." I don't believe this is saying that if we make mistakes we won't have consequences or trials. But I do believe that God, who is our Heavenly Father, wants us to forgive ourselves and bless us as we recognize our mistakes and change. He loves us with an eternal love which allows him to forgive, be merciful, and bless us even when we go astray. He waits, every day, for us to come to Him.

I am grateful for a new year and new opportunities. I see so many things in my life that I need to do better. One of them is to be more grateful, and share that gratefulness with others. Even with the mistakes I have made I am alive, healthy, have the necessities of life, 2 amazing children, amazing friends and family, and a stronger relationship with my Savior. I guess I am living proof that God loves ALL of us. Even when we make wrong turns.

I know this to be true.

Progression

I have been thinking a lot about progress and personal worth lately. Today I came across this quote that that talks about our progression and God. "For He regards men not as they are merely, but as they shall be...as they are now growing, or capable of growing, toward that image after which He made them that they might grow to it. Therefore a thousand stages, each in itself all but valueless, are of INESTIMABLE WORTH as the necessary and connected gradations of an infinite progress."

We all go through different stages and trials in life, all of which help us to grow and become better. We will not, in this life, fully understand the necessity of certain trials and stages of life. The best solution is to learn from them and improve. Love life and embrace it. No matter how hard it can be at times.

Thanksgiving

It has been too long since I wrote but what better day than Thanksgiving :) It has been a great day for me and my kids. My whole family is in town and I have been able to spend some precious time with them and my kids. I feel very blessed and humbled as I ponder the many blessings I have.

I have mentioned before that one thing I struggle with is being WAY too hard on myself. As we go through trials it is hard not to be selfish and think only of ourselves because we are hurting or struggling. The times that I have pondered my many blessings and shifted my focus to gratitude have helped me to overcome negativity and think of others. Of course, as we struggle through our imperfections and trials, we need to focus on our personal growth. We need to give time to ourselves so that we can change, learn, and grow. But what better way to do that then by showing gratitude and loving others. The more we can shift our focus away from our problems and focus on the positive, the more we can grow. I'm not saying to brush things under the rug and avoid our problems. I'm saying that even when we are going through the most difficult trials, we can find so many things to be grateful for.

I love my Savior. I love my kids. I love my family and friends. I love the simple things in life we are provided with that help bring peace and comfort. Beds, clothes, food, nature, running water, and so on and so on. I am truly blessed and grateful. One of the greatest blessings that we can all partake of every day is the miracle of the Atonement. We can all be cleansed and healed through the Atonement of our Savior. The list of blessings can fill many pages, but at the top of that list is the Atonement. The Atonement encompasses everything. I am so grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who cares for us all individually.

I feel the need to say that NO MATTER the trial you face, no matter what you have done or what has been done to you, the Atonement will heal you. On this day of Thanksgiving I give thanks to my God, for He has provided us all with a way back to Him. As we move into December and the Christmas season, I give thanks for the ultimate gift: Our Savior.

I need to try and live everyday like it is Thanksgiving because everyday I am alive is another day I can improve, change, and grow. I have so many things I want to type right now but knowing me it will just turn into a jumbled mess. I will call it good for the night and leave with this thought: Giving thanks is not just simply acknowledging something good in your life, it is allowing that something to help you change and become better.

Forgive Yourself

I struggle immensely with forgiving myself. I beat myself up pretty bad. It is like a boxing match sometimes and I am constantly getting knocked down. You can't avoid guilt and sorrow for sin. Those feelings will come and they are necessary for change and repentance. But beating ourselves up for our past is a common tool used by the adversary to keep us down. We, for the most part, are very hard on ourselves and we all need to STOP! Allow yourself to feel what you need to feel but do not allow yourself to be unforgiving.

The adversary wants to keep us down. He wants us to suffer and be depressed. He does not want us to feel the good fruits of repentance and change. The more we hate ourselves the harder it will be to progress. Get on your knees and pray for the ability to forgive yourself and feel that comfort. I know that it is a challenge. I have such a hard time with it. I just tear myself apart sometimes and it is not healthy. God loves us so much and is ready and willing to help. Yes, we need to feel sorrow and we need to feel pain. But we cannot allow ourselves fall into despair and sadness because we cannot forgive ourselves.

I know how hard it can be. I still struggle with it. But I know that as we turn our hearts and thoughts to God and strive to do whats right, we will begin to feel that forgiveness of ourselves. We don't need to be so hard on ourselves and it is ok to recognize the good things that we do and remember that we are good people. Even with the heavy burden of sin, addiction, or physical ailments, we can know that as we strive to change and repent we can feel forgiveness come over us and be confident that we are choosing the right. And if sometimes it feels like no one cares and you are unhappy with yourself, know that God loves you and He wants what is best for you.

Forgive yourself so that you can be free.