Choose To Be Grateful

Has it really been this long! I have been a slacker. I will blame it on the busy holidays :)

I have been thinking about a new post for a couple weeks now and what keeps coming into my mind is the need to be grateful. This Christmas season has allowed me to reflect on the many things in my life that I NEED to be grateful for. I have had some rough days lately. A lot of up and down. I have been searching for peace. I have found that when I ponder on all of the things I am grateful for I feel the most peace. I sometimes forget that God wants me to feel peace and happiness and most of the stress and sorrow I feel is because of my lack of gratitude. I allow negative and sad thoughts to control my mind and neglect the positive and grateful thoughts. I believe that this is key to our peace and happiness.

A lot of my struggles come from my own mind. The battle against ourselves always seems to be the most exhausting and stressful. My struggle with myself comes from my past. I have made some bad decisions and from time to time I still beat myself up. I read a quote from Elder Faust that has really helped: "All of us have made wrong turns along the way. I believe the kind and merciful God, whose children we are, will judge us lightly as He can for the wrongs we have done and give us the maximum blessing for the good we do. Alma's sublime utterance in Alma 9:26 seems to be an affirmation of this." I don't believe this is saying that if we make mistakes we won't have consequences or trials. But I do believe that God, who is our Heavenly Father, wants us to forgive ourselves and bless us as we recognize our mistakes and change. He loves us with an eternal love which allows him to forgive, be merciful, and bless us even when we go astray. He waits, every day, for us to come to Him.

I am grateful for a new year and new opportunities. I see so many things in my life that I need to do better. One of them is to be more grateful, and share that gratefulness with others. Even with the mistakes I have made I am alive, healthy, have the necessities of life, 2 amazing children, amazing friends and family, and a stronger relationship with my Savior. I guess I am living proof that God loves ALL of us. Even when we make wrong turns.

I know this to be true.

Progression

I have been thinking a lot about progress and personal worth lately. Today I came across this quote that that talks about our progression and God. "For He regards men not as they are merely, but as they shall be...as they are now growing, or capable of growing, toward that image after which He made them that they might grow to it. Therefore a thousand stages, each in itself all but valueless, are of INESTIMABLE WORTH as the necessary and connected gradations of an infinite progress."

We all go through different stages and trials in life, all of which help us to grow and become better. We will not, in this life, fully understand the necessity of certain trials and stages of life. The best solution is to learn from them and improve. Love life and embrace it. No matter how hard it can be at times.

Thanksgiving

It has been too long since I wrote but what better day than Thanksgiving :) It has been a great day for me and my kids. My whole family is in town and I have been able to spend some precious time with them and my kids. I feel very blessed and humbled as I ponder the many blessings I have.

I have mentioned before that one thing I struggle with is being WAY too hard on myself. As we go through trials it is hard not to be selfish and think only of ourselves because we are hurting or struggling. The times that I have pondered my many blessings and shifted my focus to gratitude have helped me to overcome negativity and think of others. Of course, as we struggle through our imperfections and trials, we need to focus on our personal growth. We need to give time to ourselves so that we can change, learn, and grow. But what better way to do that then by showing gratitude and loving others. The more we can shift our focus away from our problems and focus on the positive, the more we can grow. I'm not saying to brush things under the rug and avoid our problems. I'm saying that even when we are going through the most difficult trials, we can find so many things to be grateful for.

I love my Savior. I love my kids. I love my family and friends. I love the simple things in life we are provided with that help bring peace and comfort. Beds, clothes, food, nature, running water, and so on and so on. I am truly blessed and grateful. One of the greatest blessings that we can all partake of every day is the miracle of the Atonement. We can all be cleansed and healed through the Atonement of our Savior. The list of blessings can fill many pages, but at the top of that list is the Atonement. The Atonement encompasses everything. I am so grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who cares for us all individually.

I feel the need to say that NO MATTER the trial you face, no matter what you have done or what has been done to you, the Atonement will heal you. On this day of Thanksgiving I give thanks to my God, for He has provided us all with a way back to Him. As we move into December and the Christmas season, I give thanks for the ultimate gift: Our Savior.

I need to try and live everyday like it is Thanksgiving because everyday I am alive is another day I can improve, change, and grow. I have so many things I want to type right now but knowing me it will just turn into a jumbled mess. I will call it good for the night and leave with this thought: Giving thanks is not just simply acknowledging something good in your life, it is allowing that something to help you change and become better.

Forgive Yourself

I struggle immensely with forgiving myself. I beat myself up pretty bad. It is like a boxing match sometimes and I am constantly getting knocked down. You can't avoid guilt and sorrow for sin. Those feelings will come and they are necessary for change and repentance. But beating ourselves up for our past is a common tool used by the adversary to keep us down. We, for the most part, are very hard on ourselves and we all need to STOP! Allow yourself to feel what you need to feel but do not allow yourself to be unforgiving.

The adversary wants to keep us down. He wants us to suffer and be depressed. He does not want us to feel the good fruits of repentance and change. The more we hate ourselves the harder it will be to progress. Get on your knees and pray for the ability to forgive yourself and feel that comfort. I know that it is a challenge. I have such a hard time with it. I just tear myself apart sometimes and it is not healthy. God loves us so much and is ready and willing to help. Yes, we need to feel sorrow and we need to feel pain. But we cannot allow ourselves fall into despair and sadness because we cannot forgive ourselves.

I know how hard it can be. I still struggle with it. But I know that as we turn our hearts and thoughts to God and strive to do whats right, we will begin to feel that forgiveness of ourselves. We don't need to be so hard on ourselves and it is ok to recognize the good things that we do and remember that we are good people. Even with the heavy burden of sin, addiction, or physical ailments, we can know that as we strive to change and repent we can feel forgiveness come over us and be confident that we are choosing the right. And if sometimes it feels like no one cares and you are unhappy with yourself, know that God loves you and He wants what is best for you.

Forgive yourself so that you can be free.

Rough

You will have rough days like today. Keep your head up and push through. Focus on the positive and on those things that will bring you closer to God. Learn what you can and know that tomorrow is a new day. Don't give up, no matter how hard it is.

Perspective

I am grateful that I have found a few minutes to write down some thoughts. I am enjoying a bowl of Kashi cereal after a nice shower. Small and simple pleasures like this can really help put things in to perspective. That is what is on my mind. But first I want say again, like I have many times before, that when we go through trials our Heavenly Father uses other people to help us. I am very grateful for the people in my life that have helped me. An important thing to remember and that was hard at first, was that I needed to allow the help to happen. I can promise you that if you are going through a trial, and you allow people to help you, it will bless your life and theirs. It is part of God's amazing plan for us that He puts other people in our paths. Do not shy away from people's efforts to help. When you do this you will be blessed and you will feel strengthened. And you will begin to see ways that you can help others as well.

Now on to perspective. How often in our lives do we lose proper perspective? How often do we allow the events of life make us lose focus? How often do we get discouraged and down amidst our struggles? I have been thinking a lot about that lately because I struggle with it immensely! Through my trial I have lost the proper perspective at times and it has caused me unnecessary heartache and pain. Distracting us and discouraging us are some of Satan's greatest tools! The more miserable we are the harder it will be to overcome and progress. This is exactly what we need to avoid and fight against. We need to fight to keep a proper perspective. How do we view things? What do we believe in? What do we know to be true? These are questions we need to ask ourselves as we deal with struggles, temptations, and difficult trials.

It is important to remember and face the fact that we all have struggles. We all have weaknesses. Try not to beat yourself up! Face your weaknesses head on and remember to stay positive. Do not run from your struggles. Do not run from how things really are. You will end up running in circles. I have had to face my trial head on because it is the only way to overcome. True change comes through keeping proper perspective and making consistent good decisions.

As you go through your trial remember that as you struggle through it, God is preparing you for something better. Keep your head up. Look towards God. Pray to Him and ask for help to see things as they really are and for the strength to endure. Consequences for our actions happen every day. If you are struggling due to consequences of your own actions or the actions of others, know that that is how God intended it to be. So we can learn and grow and change. He wants us to rely on Him and strive to become more like Him. Try to keep that positive perspective and remember all of our trials will be for our benefit if we allow them to and if we keep focused on the eternal plan of our Father in Heaven.

I know what it is like to feel discouraged. I know how it feels to lose precious gifts. I know what it means to feel like all is lost and that there is no hope. I know the feelings of sadness, regret, pain, and desperation. Sometimes we cannot avoid these feelings. But I know that with a proper perspective, combined with faith and endurance, we can overcome and rise above our trials and become better because of it. Our Heavenly Father is waiting anxiously to help us. We have a Savior that has suffered all of our pain. Allow them and those around us to assist us as we sincerely change our lives and face our trials. Keep that PERSPECTIVE. You can make it. You can overcome. You can be happy.

I know it :)

Keep Your Head Up

Today I have been battling some negative thoughts, most of them stemming from my past. At times we battle these thoughts and they can be very difficult to handle. Spending a few days with my kids always helps me to heal and focus on my tremendous blessings. But at times, especially when they leave, thoughts of despair and sadness come over me. They are a reminder to me of a past life and "how things used to be". Although I am grateful for the tremendous trial of the past year and how it has changed me, I still suffer from the aftermath of consequences.

Today during a talk in church, the speaker shared his feelings about how devastating it would be if we were to drive and only look through the rear view mirror. Hopping on the freeway going 65 mph and only watching the rear view mirror would not last long. He related it to life and how Satan wants us to focus on our pasts. He wants us to limit ourselves to who we used to be and not who we have become or who we can be. I realized that I have a problem with this. By nature, I am very hard on myself. I tend to beat myself up and I have to work extra hard to be positive towards myself. Thankfully, through my trial, I have gained more confidence and I am getting better at overcoming this. It is very important for us to keep our heads up and focus on looking forward with faith. Life trials will always be present. They are an important part of God's plan. How we learn and grow from these trials is what counts. Life can be hard, ruthless, and overwhelming. But if we keep our heads up and rely on God, we can be happier because of our trials. That is a hard concept to grasp.

Right now, at this very moment, I am hurting. Sometimes it is unavoidable. I miss my kids, I have regrets, I wish for things that will never be again. I have hope for my future and I know that it is bright. I recognize God's blessings in my life and I am grateful for them. But today is a day where I need to tell myself to keep my head up. I cannot look back or look down. I need to look forward. "In your life their have to be challenges. They will either bring you closer to God and make you stronger, or they can destroy you. But you make the decision of which road you take"- Elder Busche

I am grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who is constantly allowing us to learn to rely on him. He wants us to keep our heads up and look to Him for comfort. He wants us to choose Him.