It has been a looooong time since I have posted on my blog. So many things have happened I want to share. But tonight in particular I want to share an amazing experience with the birth of our daughter Lyla Rose. I am really putting my feelings out there but I feel a strong desire to share.
When I started this blog 3 and 1/2 years ago I was at a very difficult and challenging point in my life. I had made many mistakes and was working through a tremendous trial as I tried to rebuild my life. I caused a lot of pain and hurt many hearts. Although it was a painful experience, it all has lead me to this point. I have dedicated my life to change. I have married THE MOST AMAZING woman in the world and have literally been given a second chance at life. I have 4 incredible children that I love with all of my heart. I am able to fully serve in my church. I have many friends who have helped along the way whom I will cherish forever. I share all of this because last night, when Lyla came into this world, I realized more than ever before how fragile life is and how lucky I am that repentance and forgiveness is possible.
Chrisi decided that she wanted to try a VBAC for this birth. Chloe was a C-section but Chrisi didn't want to go through that again. We decided on an amazing birthing center with amazing midwives who helped every step of the way. A natural birth allowed us to experience Lyla's birth very intimately. When labor finally started we were so excited to welcome Lyla into the world. Watching and helping Chrisi move through labor and push through contractions was a very emotional experience for me. The strength that women possess is amazing. I was able to see first hand the miracle of birth and what women and mothers go through to give birth to a child. Chrisi gave me so much last night and I will forever be grateful for her.
At the very end, Chrisi was absolutely spent as she pushed one last time. When Lyla was born, we as parents, experienced the most emotionally draining 5 minutes of our lives. The umbilical cord was wrapped around Lyla's neck 3 times and she was motionless and her face was a dark, dark blue. Our midwife immediately placed Lyla on Chrisi's chest, unwrapped the cord, and began performing mouth to mouth. I held little Lyla's hand and was beside myself with emotions as our midwives worked to get her breathing. For 5 minutes they helped her as she struggled to get air in her little lungs. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, she began breathing and color returned to her face. I was a weeping mess. Chrisi was amazingly calm and collected (of course) and was able to hold her little girl close to her. We sat and cried to together as we shared her first moments of life. We were so grateful to our nurses who stayed focused and were extremely professional. I have not been able to stop thinking about the emotions that went through.
Life is fragile. Lyla was in the womb for 41 weeks and her life depended on that umbilical cord. And then in one moment, that cord could have taken her life as soon as she came into this world. I know that many people in my circle have experienced very painful trials and I was only given a glimpse of what it would be like to lose a child. But I learned last night that every single moment we have is a blessing. Every single decision we make has consequences. Every challenge we have in this life is for our growth and development. I learned once again that God is real and he is watching over us. Even when we lose a loved one, make a mistake, or go through a physical challenge, our Heavenly Father loves us and is watching over us. He wants us to take experiences like last night and become better because of them. He wants us to take the pain we suffer and turn to him for help.
By most people's standards I have, in the past, hit ROCK BOTTOM. I have been given an opportunity to reclaim many things that I lost and I just want to share that. No matter what we endure in this life, we can all find happiness! We can all change. We can all become better people. Hope is never lost for anyone. If you feel alone as you go through a trial give me a call! I promise you are not. We never know when we may be hit with an enormous trial. But we can make the most of this life by remembering what is most important and giving respect to the small miracles that happen to all of us. God forgives, hearts can heal, spirits can be reborn, challenges can be overcome, people can change, and love will always prevail. I have so much more to improve in my life, but I will move forward after last night with renewed faith in not only myself and my family, but in all of us as children of God. Much love to all of my family and friends and to all of those who are struggling. Life is fragile let's make the most of it.
Matt
