Abhorrence

Abhorrence is defined as "a feeling of extreme repugnance or aversion; utter loathing; abomination." In Alma 13:12 it states that the people who had been sanctified by the Holy Ghost "could not look upon sin save it were with abhorrence." I have been thinking a lot lately about how I view sin and the effects of sin on our happiness and ultimately our salvation. I have seen and felt very strongly the effect of sin. I know that it is a feeling that I utterly loathe. But how can we have so much abhorrence for sin that we completely avoid it? Does it take us feeling the guilt and pain of sin for us to abhor it?

What I have gone through over the past 8 months, and what I continue to go through, has made me have an absolute abhorrence towards sin. Although I have learned lessons that have changed my life, the pain and sorrow I have felt is not something I ever want to feel again. Sometimes, because of our own bad choices, we have to learn the hard way. But I believe that we can avoid the pain and sorrow of sin, especially major sin, if we decide right now to look upon it with abhorrence. View it as something that we loathe and despise. I testify to you that the pain and the sorrow that follows major sin is not worth it. Although we need to learn from mistakes and sins, we can avoid so much heartache by simply deciding beforehand to make the right decision. Pray for the ability to look upon sin with abhorrence. Pray for the temptations of the devil to be obvious and to be able to look the temptations straight on and say NO. We can decide right now to do as the Prophet Joseph Smith said and "overcome the evils of our lives and lose every desire for sin."

Now I know that we cannot be perfect. But we can strive for it. We will make mistakes, but we can become better. We can avoid the major mistakes by loathing the very thought of them and by focusing on our Savior and his teachings. I want to be able to share my experience with others to help them know that wickedness truly never brings happiness. There is no happiness in the plan of Satan. He desires us to be miserable. He desires us to be evil. Avoid the mistakes that I have made by deciding right now to hold to the rod and never let go. Fight your temptations head on without fear and say no. And if you have made big mistakes there is hope. There is so much hope and peace awaiting you if you willingly and with humility come before the Lord and lay your life at His feet. He can heal all of our spiritual wounds. He can take on our burdens. He is the answer. I know that the Savior lives and he loves us. There is no escape from the consequences of sin. But there is a way back. You can be forgiven. You can feel peace and happiness. The Atonement of our Savior is the answer. I know this to be true.

Positive

Ok folks I know it is late but until I get some thoughts down I won't be able to sleep. I am restless and need to express some feelings. It helps to calm me down. I am sure we all have had many nights like this and writing down thoughts is often the best remedy.

I am really trying hard to stay positive. Having a positive attitude is so important to our life experience. Coming to grips with reality and the difficulties of life is a struggle on it's own. Keeping a positive attitude through it all is a whole new ball game. Is it crazy to think that no matter the hardship or trial we are facing that we can still find many reasons to be positive? No it is not crazy. In fact I think that these difficult experiences can help us find MORE reasons to be positive. I really need to focus my prayers on asking for the strength to be more positive and give thanks continually.

Be positive my friends. Our lives are wonderful journeys. Just writing these words down has calmed my soul and reminded me of the many things I can be positive about. The greatest is the love of my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. They love us all so much and the opportunity to return to them is such a POSITIVE reinforcement. Everything will be ok in the end and there is no reason for throwing in the towel. We can do it and we can be positive along the way. Positivity is God's way of saying that we can do this. I know this to be true. Good night.

Fasting

Today I took the opportunity to fast. Fasting has been a principle that I have grown to love over the past months. As I have showed my faith in the Lord through fasting, he has blessed me with answers and tender mercies. I believe, that if we are to make it through this life of struggle and hardship, fasting is essential to our survival.

The principles and commandments of the Gospel of Jesus Christ are given to us to help us reach our ultimate goal of eternal life with our Father in Heaven. But in large part, the principles and commandments are set before us to test our faith. We have a loving Heavenly Father who knows what is best for us. He knows that a principle such as fasting will help us to return to Him. He is ready and willing to bless us as we sacrifice our bodies through fasting. It is our faith in the principle of fasting that allows it to work. Our faith is what the Lord is looking for. He wants to know that we believe in his teachings, have faith in them, and will live them. Fasting is an amazing gift we have been given to increase our faith, overcome adversity, and receive answers to prayers. I am so grateful for the principles of the Gospel and how they bless our lives. I am grateful to my Heavenly Father for his love and compassion for his children.

I say these things because it is as if I am learning them all over again. I think that many of us get to points in our lives where we need to relearn some of the principles of the Gospel. We may forget or overlook the importance of certain principles. I am grateful that my Heavenly Father loves me so much that he is willing to teach me over and over again. He is willing to help me, no matter how many times, to become a true disciple and follower of Jesus Christ.

As I push through this trial I can't help but think of the true purpose behind what we each personally struggle with in this life. Why do we really go through these extremely hard trials? What is it that we really are supposed to be learning? Although there are many reasons, one reason I believe to be near the top is this: We are to take what we have learned from our trials and use it to help and serve others. We all can help another person. We all can use what we have learned to bless another life. And THAT is what the Lord wants! He wants to use us to help his other children. Even if we are in the midst of something terrible, we can reach out to a brother or sister and love them and help them. The plan of our Father in Heaven is so wonderful and we can all help each other along the way. I know that the struggles of this life are difficult. I know that at times we may feel lost, scared, or maybe even faithless. We may try to run from our trials, sweep them under the rug, or deny that they even exist. But we, at some point in time, will have to face them and make a decision. I know that if we decide right now to face our challenges, get on our knees and plead with the Lord, and put to work His principles, we will begin a journey of true change. We can do it. We can make it through. We can succeed. I know this to be true.

Tender Mercies

I feel the need to leave one more post before I go to bed. I just watched this video for the 100th time and I want to share it. I watch it on a regular basis to remind myself that the Lord is very active in my life and I feel it through His tender mercies. He loves us all so much. His tender mercies are abundant. I love Him with all of my heart.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3B4El4B9LVw&feature=relmfu

Mother

I had to write a quick post and give thanks to my mother and all of the mothers who have influenced my life. My mom is a rock. She has the faith that can move mountains and she never will give up on her children. She is an example to me of love and compassion. I am so grateful to her for her life and her dedication to her children. How lucky we are to have motherly influences in our lives. I am grateful to a loving Heavenly Father who has provided us with such amazing women to be our mothers. So often I take my mom's love for granted and she is still there to for me. She is the greatest.

Love you Mom.

Friends

I will forever be grateful for the friends in my life. I will be grateful for how much service has been rendered to me by them and how they have stood by me. I will also be grateful for my friends allowing me to serve them, which has blessed me very much. Marvin J. Ashton said this:

No greater reward can come to any of us as we serve than a sincere "thank you for being my friend." When those who need assistance find their way back through and with us, it is friendship in action. When the weak are made strong and the strong stronger through our lives, friendship is real.

I believe in true friendship and how it can bless our lives. I believe that we can be a friend to anyone. I believe that if we are struggling with a trial, no matter how severe, reaching out to someone and being a friend will help heal you. We are all suffering in one way or another. We are all in need of a friend at times. Someone who will sincerely show love and affection during a time of need. It is such an amazing feeling to not only have a true friend but also BE a true friend to others. I have a lot of catching up to do when it comes to being a true friend but I am grateful for the opportunities I have every day to be a friend. I am grateful to the many experiences I have had where a friend showed me love at the exact time I needed it.

Our greatest friend of all is our Savior. He was and is a friend to all. He will never fail us or betray us. He is our great example. I give thanks to Him and the friends in my life.

Thank you.

Confidence

Confidence is defined as "full trust; belief in the powers, trustworthiness, or reliability of a person or thing". As we go through life and experience trials, our confidence in ourselves and others will be tested. If you are going through a trial it is important to ask yourself some questions to determine where you stand. Do I believe that I am powerful enough to overcome this? Do I trust myself? Can I and will I be a reliable person? Do I truly believe that I can make it through this and be better because of it?

These are important questions to ask yourself and it is even more important to put them to the test. You truly need to examine yourself and what it will take for you to overcome. Your level of confidence may be very high or it may be very low but determining it is key. And once you determine it, it is time to take action. You need to be ready to do whatever it takes to get your confidence in yourself to where it needs to be.

The amazing thing about the Atonement of the Savior Jesus Christ is that no matter where your confidence level is at, the Savior is there to be the difference. You can have complete confidence in Him as you search and strive for confidence in yourself. He will lead you and guide you through your battles and as your confidence in Him increases, your personal confidence will grow.

We are not perfect people. We make mistakes. Some small and some very big. We are presented with trials of all different kinds. All too often it feels like when one trial ends another one comes. Life is full of trials. But when we have caused a trial in our life and in the life of others it can be devastating to ones confidence. When you feel guilt and sorrow for your actions it is very difficult to have any confidence in yourself. As we suffer through a trial such as this, it is imperative that we have confidence. Trust in yourself and in the Lord that you can do whatever is necessary to repent, change, and forgive. Make the decision to sincerely change and then move forward with confidence in yourself and in the Lord. He will bless you and pour His love out upon you. I know this to be true and I am so grateful for a loving God who has provided a way for us to be healed from any trial that we are faced with.

The road will not be easy. You will not have all the answers. There will be roadblocks of confusion, doubt, fear, anger, and sadness. But we can be CONFIDENT in ourselves as children of God and CONFIDENT in our Savior that we will succeed. We can feel happiness and peace. It will be HARD. But it is worth it.

Confidence is key. You can do it.

Be Still

I have been pondering what I should write about today and I am having a hard time deciding. So I will just start typing. This past week has been a whirlwind of emotion. Sadness and despair have been attempting to bring me down and I am in the midst of something that has been weighing on me very heavily. My mind feels like my enemy as I struggle to understand the trials of life. Although I know that my Heavenly Father loves me and that he is in charge, it can still be hard to keep proper perspective when you are faced with multiple challenges at one time. The term "when it rains it pours" is very true at times and it can be a struggle opening the umbrella.

Sometimes things happen in our life that don't have an explanation. No matter how hard you try to find one, the explanation eludes you. You may find yourself getting caught up in the difficulty of your trial and your emotions seem to control you. Even when you are trying so hard to do those things to overcome, there is a lingering sadness that you cannot seem to get rid of. There are actions we can take to overcome this such as prayer, scripture study, service, and repentance. But in many circumstances our sadness won't immediately go away and what is required most is faith and patience.

Many times we are allowed to suffer, even though we may not understand, so that we can learn and grow and strengthen our faith. Maybe we will find the explanation or maybe we won't. But what we need to find and what we will certainly find is our Savior. He asks us to be still and and know that He is there. He pleads with us to come to Him. He promises comfort and it will come, even if the sadness lingers. Learn from the difficult emotions you are feeling. Allow them to change you. Pray for the ability to do God's will. Pray for what is right to happen in your life. Be around those people that lift you up and help you be happy. Try to be positive. Focus on others and not on yourself. Be still, and the Lord will comfort you.

I say these things today because I need to hear them so much right now. I need to know and understand this more than ever. My heart is aching and my spirit is being tested. At times I feel as though I am being pushed to the very edge of my limits. My emotions and tears are front and center. But I do know that I will find comfort and that peace will come. Faith and patience will prevail. Stay the course. The Savior lives.

Be still.